We decided to flee Kensington for the Spring Racing Carnival as during this time you can hardly walk out our front door let alone drive anywhere. So we're up in the Snowy Mountains at Lake Crackenback Resort, which is just a bit further up the road from Threadbo & Mount Kosciosko (or however you spell it...)

We are in a stunning 2 bedroom chalet with 3 TVs and 2 living areas. It is just FABULOUS!!! Photos shall be uploaded at a later date...

Quote for this evening: when asked "Why are there little fences around the little trees?" Abigail answered: "To stop the bunnies eating them." Which is a very valid answer, but when I said: "It is to stop all the kangaroos from eating them." Abigail responded: "Kangaroos are just big bunnies!"

LOL!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Long Weekend @ Lake Crackenback

What a fabulous husband!

My husband is the best! Last weekend, for no reason at all, he bought me a new Nespresso machine...

A brand new iPad 2...

I have the best hubby ever!!!

From weheartit.com

I really wish I had seen this dress 15 years ago - I totally would have got married in it!

New additions to the garden

Lemon (yellow pot) & Lime (green pot)

Home Time!!!

Today, after 4 weeks R&R at my parent's place in Castlemaine recovering from my hysterectomy, I am finally going home! Home sweet home! I am hugely grateful to mum & dad for looking after me and putting up with me for so long - and I'm sure the dog will be happy that I'm going!

Today is hubby's birthday & he came up to Castlemaine last night because he said after 4 weeks without me at home it was "getting weird" and he was lonely. He is the best hubby you could ask for!

Tonight, after hubby's birthday dinner, we'll go home (so I'd better pack my suitcase!) and I'll get settled back into life and get a few things organised before picking up the girls from hubby's parents on Sunday. Monday will be a day dedicated to getting ready for school that starts back Tuesday.

I'm really looking forward to the next stage of life - the post hysterectomy years - because I feel so fantastic, am pain-free, have so much more energy than I have had in years, and best of all I'm getting better and better every day!

Cheers to the future!

- Posted from my iPhone

Wordless Wednesday... There's no place like home

My "must read immediately" pile of books...

Before Kindle...

After Kindle...

LOL!

There's no place like home...

Week 3 post-op and I had a "test run" in preparation for next week when school goes back. On Sunday I went home, via the in-laws because I desperately miss the girls, and stayed overnight (on my own as hubby had to fly to Sydney on business) just to see how I would go. I also had an appointment with my shrink on Monday that I didn't want to miss. So, Sunday went well - a lot of driving, so I was tired and uncomfortable (as opposed to sore) when we finally reached home. I was glad to just sit back and catch up with some favorite TV shows that I recorded as mum and dad don't have Foxtel...

Monday was a public-transport day to firstly get to the PO box in the CBD, as hubby hasn't been at all since my op, and then out to Richmond to see the shrink. All went well, and all targets achieved, but I gave in after the shrink and took a taxi to Spencer St (sorry, Southern Cross...) because I still had to catch the train back up to Castlemaine. I didn't want to stay "home alone" as hubby will be in Sydney all week for work.

All in all it was a success! I was *exhausted* by the time I got back to my parents, and slept until noon today, but didn't get any pain or other nasty side-effects from being so active so soon after surgery. Another week of R&R and I'll be back into the swing of the school term & "normal" life!

The Purple Hat

Age 3 - She looks at herself in her purple hat, and sees a Queen.

 

Age 8 - She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

 

Age 15 - She looks at herself and sees an Ugly sister (Mom, I can't go to school looking like this!)

 

Age 20 - She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" but decides she's going out anyway.

 

Age 30 - She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly"  decides she doesn't have time to fix it, but she's going out anyway.

 

Age 40 - She looks at herself and says "too much to do, can't get it all done,  it's been a long day, and I'm going out anyway".

 

Age 50 - She looks at herself and thinks "I am just fine" and goes wherever she wants to go.

 

Age 60 - She looks at herself and sees wisdom and laughter, and goes out and enjoys life.

 

Age 70 - She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Then goes out and conquers the world.

 

Age 80 - Doesn't even bother to look. She just puts on that purple hat, goes out, and has fun with the world.

 

Maybe we should all grab that purple hat a little earlier.

Up, then down, now up again...

I have been told, and have also read, that the road to recovery is a slow one with ups & downs - but I was starting to feel that I was immune to the downs as my recovery has been going so amazingly smoothly. Until yesterday. Yesterday I was aching, sore, tired, bloated, had lost my sense of humour, was grumpy and just felt generally miserable. I slept until late because I didn't want to get out of bed, and when I did get out of bed I didn't even bother getting dressed for the day.

For the past 2 and a half weeks I have been feeling really well - recovering smoothly and feeling better than I have in years. So I was rather alarmed and a tad depressed when, come Day 17, I was feeling like sh*t. I phoned my gyno to check a few things out with him, and was asured that all was normal and that I probably had over-done things thepast few days. Relieved, I sat and mindlessly played bingo on Facebook all afternoon because I needed a brainless distraction from being such a grump.

Of course, I had over-done things a tad... But today - wow! I feel fantastic! I have zero pain, tons of energy and a brain that is willing to function beyond mindless bingo. We drove out to Maldon, along some bumpy dirt roads, and it didn't bother me in the slightest. Needless to say, I'm happy & cheerful once again and am taking it a bit easier than I have been. I have to remember it has only been 18 days of a recommended 6-8 week recovery!

The weird, weird world of shoes...

When you get bored, you get web surfing... And being "grounded" for the past 3 weeks has definitely had its boring moments. I have found a really cool website - weheartit.com - that has thousands of photos of pretty much anything you can imagine! I was looking around the other day and stumbled across this photo -

And I was intrigued, so I started looking specifically for "interesting" shoes - from the pretty to the bizzare! Here are a few that have earned a notable mention as quite bizarre -

for the romantic?

for the black-tie event

why aren't these heels breaking???

if you are feeling particularly short...

hmmm... very girlie...

ouch!

yeah... ummm... interesting...

bling to the extreme!

And, finally, my personal favorite pair...

full-on Gaga!

Thunder & Lightning, Very Very... Cool!

I'm sitting in my parents lounge room - a huge bay window with views across Castlemaine - watching an absolutely spectacular thunder storm accompanied by torrential rain. I absolutely *love* thunder storms!!

16 days post-op and I'm feeling better than ever!

2 weeks today!

Two weeks post-op today and feeling great! No regrets - best thing I've ever done!!

And that is exactly what I'm going to do!!

Recovery Day 10

This is *so* true. I've had a fair bit of time to watch movies recently (obviously...) and I really need to take up my old rule of, "If you loved/liked the book then don't see the movie!" A couple of exceptions to the rule being Mel Gibson in "Hamlet" and Leonardo di Caprio in "Romeo+Juliet" and they did do a pretty good job on the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. Aside from these few examples, I am yet to see a movie of a book, after reading the book, and not been disappointed. Oh - just thought of "Rebecca" by Daphne du Maurier - the film (original B&W starring Laurence Olivier) is definitely better (and pretty close to) the book, as is "Jamaica Inn" - but then I've neverbeen much of a fan of du Maurier's writing!

You just can't capture, IMHO, what some authors can write on the silver screen.

I've been doing a fair bit of reading too - nothing too heavy as the brain is still a bit foggy - just complete trash novels that I am too embarrassed to post titles of here! LOL! I currently have about 30 titles on my iPhone to read and, wait for it, 1096 books on my Kindle! Of course, a lot of the Kindle content is Indie stuff, so mileage is definitely going to vary!

This is my little recovery partner - Epsi. She's mum's dog but seeing I'm here more than mum is, I'm claiming her for my recovery period! She's not that much of a companion for me though - every time she sits next to me she gives up and goes back to her chair (as pictured) because I fidget too much!

As far as recovery is going - it is going really well. I have to be careful not to over-do things and I'm starting to "count calories" so I don't eat too much while I'm pretty sedentary and end up massive! I'm also loking through mum's stash of recipe books to make my own collection of "healthy recipes" so I can cook properly when I get home. Hubby will be shocked! LOL!

Mum got most of her birthday presents (even though her birthday isn't until November!) yesterday - artwork for the garden. She got three huge pieces made from metal - a lily, a strelitzia (sp?) and the best  of all - "Equus" (pictured above) who, I must say, is the most fabulous piece of artwork I have seen in a very long time! He's 3D so looks like he's galloping out of his metalic canvas toward you. He's just FABULOUS!!! And the last of mum's presents, who we have dubbed "Wilbur" is also fabulous, but in a totally different way... Pics when he arrives!

1 Week Post-Op!

Today marks 1 week since my hysterectomy! I am feeling so good - in far less pain than before the op, and I have been glimpsing the abundant energy I am going to have when I fully recover! It really is amazing the difference the hyster has made - definitely no regrets and no looking back!

The above quote rings so true to me - my hysterectomy really marks the start of a new chapter of my life. Pain-free, energetic, good moods. All of these, plus more bonuses I'm sure to discover, all of the time. I can't wait to get started!

But that will have to wait a little while longer as I am absolutely and utterly exhausted! But for good reason - today was my first outing since the op. This morning I went to the GP for my 1-week checkup and to get my stitches out. Getting the stitches out was brilliant - no more incredibly itchy stiches!!! There are still some itchy bits here & there, but nothing I can't handle. Dr was really happy with how well (and fast) I am recovering but warned I still need to take it easy for the 6 weeks.

This afternoon mum & I went for a walk into town (a whole 3 blocks!) and ended up wandering around (slowly - I'm walking at snail's pace atm!) for about 45mins. The body didn't have a problem - no increase in pain or anything - but when I got home and sat down I realised how tiring the walk was and that my body, although thoroughly enjoyed being out & about, was not going to move off the couch anytime soon... But it was well worth it!

I'm really looking forward to my walk tomorrow!

Post-Op Day 6

I was feeling pretty good yesterday and so made an extra effort to do some things for myself and staying up & about because Hubby came for a visit. I surrendered to an afternoon nap because I was getting really tired, and after dinner I had to return to bed - light headed, dizzy, tingling... All the signs of overdoing it. I over did it, didn't keep my fluids up and probably a touch of low blood pressure to boot seeing I had low blood pressure immediately post-op in the hossie. A lesson learnt!

I have my 1-week checkup & stitches out tomorrow with a nurse (and a Dr popping his head in apparently) at my parent's GP here in Castlemaine. My gyno said it was a stupid idea to drive down to his offices in Melbourne and back (4 hour round trip!) just for a 5min appointment. The stitches are driving me nuts - so itchy! But they are still dressed and if I try and scratch them it either hurts (der!) or it's somewhere my tummy is numb and so I can't feel myself scratching - weird!

Tomorrow will be my first trip out since I left hossie, and even though it is only about two blocks to the GP (we'll be driving because I can't walk that far yet) I wonder how I'll do. I've read a lot of personal stories of other hyster patients being absolutely exhausted and spending the rest of the day in bed after their first 10min outing. Good "test run" I guess to gague where I'm at! And a chance to check on those dizzy, lightheaded, tingling symptoms I had yesterday.

Post-Op Recovery Day 3

No posts for Day 2 - I slept pretty much all day, and feel so much better for it!

Day 3 continues my recovery and things are still going better than expected. I am still pretty tired, and had virtually no sleep last night - I was uncomfortable and just couldn't get comfy. I felt really bloated and a lot of pressure in my abdomen. The result? A much needed BM this morning - feeling 1000% better now ;-)

Today is just the first of many "taking it easy" days that are going to be my life for the next couple of weeks at least. I have been reading a bit (completely trashy novels on my iPhone!) and have got my computer out today to blog & jump onto the hysterectomy forums, particularly HysterSisters.

This afternoon has been a movie marathon - I started with Burlesque, which I haven't seen before and must admit I wasn't that interested in it while watching it, and so didn't watch it all. Maybe I was just in the wrong mood. Then Dad & I watched Top Gun and now I'm watching Step Up.

I have crossword puzzles and crochet, amongst other things, to keep myself occupied, but to be perfectly honest, I don't have the brain-power just yet to do much more than read trash, watch TV and sleep!

I shall listen to my body and follow it's wishes - right now that would be a granny-nap...

Recovery Day 1

The big "unknown" that is my recovery is starting to become a little clearer, but tomorrow will be a big test - I'm being discharged tomorrow morning and going up to my parents - only a 2hr car trip ... Yes, pushing it just a little may be an understatement. At least I know my hubby is driving me up in the "comfy" car and that my bed is all made up and ready for me to crash in to once I get there!

They took me off the morphine PCA this morning, so the pain has increased a bit, but it is still less than the pain I was having before surgery. I can rest on my side - the left is more comfortable than the right - but lying on my back I'm finding to be the most comfortable.

All in all I'm doing really well - my Dr is very happy with how the surgery went & how I'm recovering. The nurses are all fantastic and super positive about how I'm going. I never felt this good at this point after a routine laparoscopy for endo!


- Posted from my iPhone

24 hours Post-Op

I'm now 24hrs post-op and am really surprised at how well I'm feeling! I expected to be pretty immobile and in lots of pain, but I am actually in less pain than I have been over the past couple of weeks!

I have been up to the loo a couple of times with no dramas and am currently sitting our of bed in my *own* nightie (luxury compared to those hospital gowns!) after having a quick wash.

I have been getting a couple of little spasms that I'm guessing are bladder spasms that I have read about but other than that all is good - although I am still on my morphine PCA :-)

I've got a healthy appetite and no nausea so I'm not having any problems with eating food ;-)

I most likely will be going home tomorrow!


- Posted using my iPhone

This is it...

Well, this is it - I'm sitting in the waiting room (waiting - I really *hate* that word!) waiting to be admitted. I'm actually quite calm. I can feel the adrenalin pumping and have butterflies in my tummy, but all in all I'm quite calm and relaxed. No going back now!




- Posted using my iPhone

TOMORROW IS THE DAY!!!!

Tomorrow is the day!!! The day I have been waiting for - the day I *finally* get a hysterectomy. All is organised, it's just a matter of waiting just under 10 hours and I'm in hospital! (I have a countdown going on my iPhone!)

See you all post-op!

to be continued...



2 more sleeps!!!

In just under 30mins I can say "Tomorrow is the day!!!" My anxiety, fear, panic, sadness, excitement and all the other emotions I was feeling all swirled up together have gone. I feel nice and relaxed, calm and ready for surgery.

My hospital bag is all packed and ready to go. We went up to my parents today and dropped off my suitcase - and unpacked and arranged my room up there for my stay. Everything is organised.

Except for the pain. The pain is excruciating and getting worse. I've given up on all pain meds as nothing helps except my TENS machine. I *love* my TENS machine!

When I walk I *feel* each step I take with my ovaries. My uterus is constantly cramping. I am exhausted and have zero energy. Everything is building up - but they can attack me all they want because they will be *removed* on Monday!

Ignoring recovery for the minute, I will be pain free for the first time in my adult life! Yeah, yeah, it's no cure for endometriosis (don't rain on my parade!) but it *is* a cure for adenomyosis, an ovary that is constantly polycystic and painful, and best of all - no more periods!!

It just sounds like bliss!

to be continued...

Hyster Countdown - 5 more sleeps...

That pretty much says it all - I'm tired. Exhausted even. I think it has come to the point where the pain is peaking (my ovaries hurt when I walk!), I'm organised for surgery & recovery, and so now it is time to play the waiting game. I just want to go into hospital and stop. Let the Drs and nurses take care of me & the pain. Let me get a good night's sleep (oh, I really need one of those!) I know recovery is not going to be fun, but I will be able to "let go" of the current survival I'm holding onto. If that makes sense...

But waiting is not fun at all. It is quite bad actually because it gives you heaps of time to think. And thinking, at this point pre-op and being a sufferer from depression & anxiety, is not a good thing. Too many possibilities come to mind (I have a very imaginative mind!) and to be brutally honest, I'm starting to get a little sad.

I'm not sure how much is due to the "hysterectomy blues" that women can get, regardless of their reason for their hyster, and how much is just not being distracted enough to keep my mind off things, and how much it is that I've lost my sense of humour. Hubby & the girls are excited about all the things they are going to do while "mummy is sick" and instead of feeling glad that the kids are in a good frame of mind and all is organised, I feel kind of unloved and that is a bit upsetting... Not that I am unloved at all - I have a fabulous, supportive family, but at times like this the mind is a powerful thing...

5 more sleeps and counting...

to be continued...

Hyster Countdown - 6 more sleeps

I must admit I am calmer than I was when I last posted. I have organised more stuff - aftercare for the girls, holiday arrangements for the girls (it is 2.5 weeks until 2 weeks of school holidays here - for me, post-op weeks 3 & 4), and chucked most of the things I think I need for hospital and for the stay at my parents place in a suitcase - I'll seperate the "hospital stuff" out into a small bag later. I also got some much-needed housework done, so all in all I'm feeling more relaxed because I'm feeling more organised.

I have also found a *fantastic* site for pre- and post-op hysterectomy patients:

http://www.hystersisters.com/

There are fabulous articles and personal stories of pre-op, recovery and post-op hyster women and such supportive forums. It has answered so many of my questions, and I'm sure it will answer many more to come!

I am preparing various forms of entertainment for myself while I'm recovering at my parent's place - couldn't live without my Kindle or my Boxee!!! The kids have passed the "worried about mummy" and "1000 questions" phases and are now completely excited that I'll be "out of the way" for a while and daddy will be doing the school runs and, the thing they are most excited about, is that they get to go to the gym (aka personal trainer) with daddy! I feel unloved...

It's good that they're excited and not fretting, as I'll be up in Castlemaine doing not very much at all... Just sleeping a lot for the first week I am told!

to be continued...

Hyster Countdown - 8 days Pre-Op

I've been pretty busy the last couple of days so my mind has been preoccupied. Today, however, the pain caught up with me and slammed me like a wrecking ball. We were up at mum & dad's, continuing work on the Epsideck, and so I just threw myself into the work to take my mind off the pain. It got to the point where hubby told me to stop and sit down - so I guess I must have been pretty bad! As soon as I sat down I knew I wasn't going anywhere too soon... 1 week to go, so grin and bear it!

It's getting closer so fast that frankly, I'm starting to get scared. Silly things like what if I don't survive the anaesthetic? What If my remaining ovary goes into shock and I end up going into surgical menopause? Should I really get my right ovary removed? Am I carrying too much weight? How am I going to avoid putting on weight after the surgery? What is recovery going to be like? And on and on...

Deep breathing exercises and a lot of distraction is in order I think!

to be continued...

Testing 1 2 3 ...

Just testing if I can blog from my iPhone!

- Posted from my iPhone

Hyster Countdown - 11 Days Pre-Op

I find myself consumed with getting everything organised for my hospital stay (unknown length of time), my stay with my parents for at least the first 2 weeks post-op, and the fact that post-op is a really big "unknown" and that is historically a really difficult concept for me to deal with. I like to *know* and, if not working really hard at controlling it, become quite anxious when there is a big *unknown* coming into play.

Putting my anxiety over the unknown aside, I have pretty much got everything under control. I have new nighties, undies & dressing-gown; new slippers and bedsocks; a couple of comfy new loose dresses; a couple of pairs of easy slip-on shoes; and two lists - (1) what I need to take to hospital, and (2) what I need to take to mum & dad's. OK, so it sounds a little anal / OCD / call it what you will, but concentrating on organising things and getting everything ready to go keeps my anxiety in check.

I have my personal trainer looking into when I can get back to the gym and what I can do and when, as well as putting together an eating plan for me post-op & post-hyster - pretty convenient having a personal trainer who is also a nutritionist! Unfortunately, she has banned me from training between now and the surgery because having stopped my meds for endometriosis, my hormones have started running wild & I have been cramping unpredictably and excrutiatingly - making it fairly impossible to complete a decent training session. So, I have been banned & instructed to look after myself and rest-up before my surgery. Makes sense I guess...

One major bonus of all of this - I got to buy a 2nd Boxee today to take to mum & dad's with me and to have for my own private use until I'm better, at which time it will be given to the girls to use in their lounge room. Very cool!!!

to be continued...

Hyster Countdown

I was planning on keeping a diary of my hysterectomy and how I feel, physically and emotionally, and how well I recover starting from the day I go in for surgery - September 12. But I'm finding that just over a week before "H-Day" it seems to be almost all-consuming.

I'm planning, organising & thinking about little else than the surgery itself, recovery, and organising my family for the 6 or so weeks I'm told I will be pretty much useless... So from September 12 thru October 24 I don't expect to be doing much other than recovering, or so I am told.

Anyway, seeing I am pretty much consumed by what is only 11 days away, I am going to start my diary now - right here on my blog.

Start the Hyster Countdown!

Wordless Wednesday... Absolute Comfort

join in!

Stimulating the Nerves and the Brains

My TENS machine is an absolute saviour at the moment, and has been reallocated to cramp-relief from ankle-pain-relief. With my hysterectomy only 2 weeks off, so I am no longer taking any of my endo/PCO meds, there are bearable days and really really painful days. Today was the latter. I threw Ponstan and some pain meds at it and didn't make a dint. So I tried the TENS.

Relief! This little machine is absolutely fantastic!! And to think that my Great Uncle was on the team that developed it!! Thanks Eric!!! 

Whilst I was stimulating nerves to erradicate cramps, hubby & the girls were stimulating their minds. The girls decided they wanted to learn how to play chess, and so this afternoon hubby sat down and they had their first chess lesson.

It was beautiful to watch, and hilarious at times as when hubby would ask Leah what she wanted to do (i.e. what move she wanted to make) and she would often respond "I want to kill something! What can I kill?" LOL!

I'm grateful for... small amusements

We were up at Castlemaine again today putting in one of the ramps on the Epsideck and trimming the over-hang. We were so terribly unthoughtful, however, when we put the off-cuts in a pile on the exact spot where Epsi loves to sit and watch the world go by.

She kind of made this subtly obvious...

Pop over to Maxabella Loves to see what others are grateful for today!

"Educational" Whitegoods

I really didn't like most of the fridge magnets that covered my fridge and dishwasher - only a couple were ones I actually chose - so I decide to chuck them all and make all that magnetic space useful. So now, we have a "Learning Fridge" that overflows onto the dishwasher...

They are fantastic! There are a combination of letters, pictures and little sentences in the form of "a is for" etc.

It is brilliant for Leah to practice her letters & sounds and spelling short words, and also brilliant for Abigail's spelling. Of course, the very first thing they did was "sign" the fridge with our names!

We did have one casualty in the magnet-exchange process... Dorothy was more than a little stubborn about leaving and has left bits of herself behind... lol!

Wordless Wednesday... The World is Full of Wonder

join in Wordless Wednesday here

"Epsideck"

There was a useless little, tiny deck area outside mum & dad's side door at their new place in Castlemaine.

Original "deck" just after some initial demolition

They wanted a nice big, useful deck. Hubby, being from a handy DIY family (unlike mine who are likely to phone someone to come and help change a lightbulb...) happily said he'd build them a deck. He designed it all and once all was agreed upon, the building (by me & hubby) commenced.

The foundations were built, including holes being dug and concreted ourselves, until it was all there - 5 beams and 6 joists all up, and 15 stumps - 3 of which are concrete. After 3 weekends of hard work (absolutely exhausting would be a better description!) the deck was ready for the actual deking - a gorgous 135mm wide Blackbutt board. I just love it! Beautiful wood! We put most of it in place today.

Dad on "Epsideck"

We put down 27 boards today - 35 three metre lengths in total for the deck area. Another 27 three metre lengths will be used for two ramps and a set of stairs. All up, 724 screws (or thereabouts) will hold the Blackbutt to the joists. Just a few, just a bit of time... When we are marking the screw sites on each board (12 per board) then drilling with a drill-press, then drilling through with an ordinary drill, then screwing the board down. It's taking us about 15mins to do a single board. It is a labour of love!

Hubby & Dad on "Epsideck"

It is looking fantastic already! Eight more boards and the main section will be done. Then cut back the overhang to the intended length, add a ramp up to mum's studio (her "Garret"), a ramp down towards the back of the house, and a set of stairs towards the side gate. Then oiling of some to-be-decided oiling, a balustrade and we're done! It is going to be brilliant!

Why are we calling it "Epsideck"? Well, it was going to be "The RJ Heitbaum Wharf" but hubby and I thought "The RJ Heitbaum Memorial Wharf" sounded better... But due to protests from mum that we weren't dead yet, no decision was made. Then, once we opened the deck to the general public (ie. those other than hubby & I) mum's dog, Epsi, came running out and just loved it! So, the name "Epsideck" just stuck!

Epsi

A couple of more weekend's work, and all should be done! Unless it rains as it so often has... But then I guess deciding to build an outdoor structure during winter is rather silly...