Up, then down, now up again...

I have been told, and have also read, that the road to recovery is a slow one with ups & downs - but I was starting to feel that I was immune to the downs as my recovery has been going so amazingly smoothly. Until yesterday. Yesterday I was aching, sore, tired, bloated, had lost my sense of humour, was grumpy and just felt generally miserable. I slept until late because I didn't want to get out of bed, and when I did get out of bed I didn't even bother getting dressed for the day.

For the past 2 and a half weeks I have been feeling really well - recovering smoothly and feeling better than I have in years. So I was rather alarmed and a tad depressed when, come Day 17, I was feeling like sh*t. I phoned my gyno to check a few things out with him, and was asured that all was normal and that I probably had over-done things thepast few days. Relieved, I sat and mindlessly played bingo on Facebook all afternoon because I needed a brainless distraction from being such a grump.

Of course, I had over-done things a tad... But today - wow! I feel fantastic! I have zero pain, tons of energy and a brain that is willing to function beyond mindless bingo. We drove out to Maldon, along some bumpy dirt roads, and it didn't bother me in the slightest. Needless to say, I'm happy & cheerful once again and am taking it a bit easier than I have been. I have to remember it has only been 18 days of a recommended 6-8 week recovery!

1 Week Post-Op!

Today marks 1 week since my hysterectomy! I am feeling so good - in far less pain than before the op, and I have been glimpsing the abundant energy I am going to have when I fully recover! It really is amazing the difference the hyster has made - definitely no regrets and no looking back!

The above quote rings so true to me - my hysterectomy really marks the start of a new chapter of my life. Pain-free, energetic, good moods. All of these, plus more bonuses I'm sure to discover, all of the time. I can't wait to get started!

But that will have to wait a little while longer as I am absolutely and utterly exhausted! But for good reason - today was my first outing since the op. This morning I went to the GP for my 1-week checkup and to get my stitches out. Getting the stitches out was brilliant - no more incredibly itchy stiches!!! There are still some itchy bits here & there, but nothing I can't handle. Dr was really happy with how well (and fast) I am recovering but warned I still need to take it easy for the 6 weeks.

This afternoon mum & I went for a walk into town (a whole 3 blocks!) and ended up wandering around (slowly - I'm walking at snail's pace atm!) for about 45mins. The body didn't have a problem - no increase in pain or anything - but when I got home and sat down I realised how tiring the walk was and that my body, although thoroughly enjoyed being out & about, was not going to move off the couch anytime soon... But it was well worth it!

I'm really looking forward to my walk tomorrow!

Post-Op Day 6

I was feeling pretty good yesterday and so made an extra effort to do some things for myself and staying up & about because Hubby came for a visit. I surrendered to an afternoon nap because I was getting really tired, and after dinner I had to return to bed - light headed, dizzy, tingling... All the signs of overdoing it. I over did it, didn't keep my fluids up and probably a touch of low blood pressure to boot seeing I had low blood pressure immediately post-op in the hossie. A lesson learnt!

I have my 1-week checkup & stitches out tomorrow with a nurse (and a Dr popping his head in apparently) at my parent's GP here in Castlemaine. My gyno said it was a stupid idea to drive down to his offices in Melbourne and back (4 hour round trip!) just for a 5min appointment. The stitches are driving me nuts - so itchy! But they are still dressed and if I try and scratch them it either hurts (der!) or it's somewhere my tummy is numb and so I can't feel myself scratching - weird!

Tomorrow will be my first trip out since I left hossie, and even though it is only about two blocks to the GP (we'll be driving because I can't walk that far yet) I wonder how I'll do. I've read a lot of personal stories of other hyster patients being absolutely exhausted and spending the rest of the day in bed after their first 10min outing. Good "test run" I guess to gague where I'm at! And a chance to check on those dizzy, lightheaded, tingling symptoms I had yesterday.

Post-Op Recovery Day 3

No posts for Day 2 - I slept pretty much all day, and feel so much better for it!

Day 3 continues my recovery and things are still going better than expected. I am still pretty tired, and had virtually no sleep last night - I was uncomfortable and just couldn't get comfy. I felt really bloated and a lot of pressure in my abdomen. The result? A much needed BM this morning - feeling 1000% better now ;-)

Today is just the first of many "taking it easy" days that are going to be my life for the next couple of weeks at least. I have been reading a bit (completely trashy novels on my iPhone!) and have got my computer out today to blog & jump onto the hysterectomy forums, particularly HysterSisters.

This afternoon has been a movie marathon - I started with Burlesque, which I haven't seen before and must admit I wasn't that interested in it while watching it, and so didn't watch it all. Maybe I was just in the wrong mood. Then Dad & I watched Top Gun and now I'm watching Step Up.

I have crossword puzzles and crochet, amongst other things, to keep myself occupied, but to be perfectly honest, I don't have the brain-power just yet to do much more than read trash, watch TV and sleep!

I shall listen to my body and follow it's wishes - right now that would be a granny-nap...

TOMORROW IS THE DAY!!!!

Tomorrow is the day!!! The day I have been waiting for - the day I *finally* get a hysterectomy. All is organised, it's just a matter of waiting just under 10 hours and I'm in hospital! (I have a countdown going on my iPhone!)

See you all post-op!

to be continued...



2 more sleeps!!!

In just under 30mins I can say "Tomorrow is the day!!!" My anxiety, fear, panic, sadness, excitement and all the other emotions I was feeling all swirled up together have gone. I feel nice and relaxed, calm and ready for surgery.

My hospital bag is all packed and ready to go. We went up to my parents today and dropped off my suitcase - and unpacked and arranged my room up there for my stay. Everything is organised.

Except for the pain. The pain is excruciating and getting worse. I've given up on all pain meds as nothing helps except my TENS machine. I *love* my TENS machine!

When I walk I *feel* each step I take with my ovaries. My uterus is constantly cramping. I am exhausted and have zero energy. Everything is building up - but they can attack me all they want because they will be *removed* on Monday!

Ignoring recovery for the minute, I will be pain free for the first time in my adult life! Yeah, yeah, it's no cure for endometriosis (don't rain on my parade!) but it *is* a cure for adenomyosis, an ovary that is constantly polycystic and painful, and best of all - no more periods!!

It just sounds like bliss!

to be continued...

Hyster Countdown - 5 more sleeps...

That pretty much says it all - I'm tired. Exhausted even. I think it has come to the point where the pain is peaking (my ovaries hurt when I walk!), I'm organised for surgery & recovery, and so now it is time to play the waiting game. I just want to go into hospital and stop. Let the Drs and nurses take care of me & the pain. Let me get a good night's sleep (oh, I really need one of those!) I know recovery is not going to be fun, but I will be able to "let go" of the current survival I'm holding onto. If that makes sense...

But waiting is not fun at all. It is quite bad actually because it gives you heaps of time to think. And thinking, at this point pre-op and being a sufferer from depression & anxiety, is not a good thing. Too many possibilities come to mind (I have a very imaginative mind!) and to be brutally honest, I'm starting to get a little sad.

I'm not sure how much is due to the "hysterectomy blues" that women can get, regardless of their reason for their hyster, and how much is just not being distracted enough to keep my mind off things, and how much it is that I've lost my sense of humour. Hubby & the girls are excited about all the things they are going to do while "mummy is sick" and instead of feeling glad that the kids are in a good frame of mind and all is organised, I feel kind of unloved and that is a bit upsetting... Not that I am unloved at all - I have a fabulous, supportive family, but at times like this the mind is a powerful thing...

5 more sleeps and counting...

to be continued...

Hyster Countdown - 6 more sleeps

I must admit I am calmer than I was when I last posted. I have organised more stuff - aftercare for the girls, holiday arrangements for the girls (it is 2.5 weeks until 2 weeks of school holidays here - for me, post-op weeks 3 & 4), and chucked most of the things I think I need for hospital and for the stay at my parents place in a suitcase - I'll seperate the "hospital stuff" out into a small bag later. I also got some much-needed housework done, so all in all I'm feeling more relaxed because I'm feeling more organised.

I have also found a *fantastic* site for pre- and post-op hysterectomy patients:

http://www.hystersisters.com/

There are fabulous articles and personal stories of pre-op, recovery and post-op hyster women and such supportive forums. It has answered so many of my questions, and I'm sure it will answer many more to come!

I am preparing various forms of entertainment for myself while I'm recovering at my parent's place - couldn't live without my Kindle or my Boxee!!! The kids have passed the "worried about mummy" and "1000 questions" phases and are now completely excited that I'll be "out of the way" for a while and daddy will be doing the school runs and, the thing they are most excited about, is that they get to go to the gym (aka personal trainer) with daddy! I feel unloved...

It's good that they're excited and not fretting, as I'll be up in Castlemaine doing not very much at all... Just sleeping a lot for the first week I am told!

to be continued...

Hyster Countdown - 8 days Pre-Op

I've been pretty busy the last couple of days so my mind has been preoccupied. Today, however, the pain caught up with me and slammed me like a wrecking ball. We were up at mum & dad's, continuing work on the Epsideck, and so I just threw myself into the work to take my mind off the pain. It got to the point where hubby told me to stop and sit down - so I guess I must have been pretty bad! As soon as I sat down I knew I wasn't going anywhere too soon... 1 week to go, so grin and bear it!

It's getting closer so fast that frankly, I'm starting to get scared. Silly things like what if I don't survive the anaesthetic? What If my remaining ovary goes into shock and I end up going into surgical menopause? Should I really get my right ovary removed? Am I carrying too much weight? How am I going to avoid putting on weight after the surgery? What is recovery going to be like? And on and on...

Deep breathing exercises and a lot of distraction is in order I think!

to be continued...

Hyster Countdown - 11 Days Pre-Op

I find myself consumed with getting everything organised for my hospital stay (unknown length of time), my stay with my parents for at least the first 2 weeks post-op, and the fact that post-op is a really big "unknown" and that is historically a really difficult concept for me to deal with. I like to *know* and, if not working really hard at controlling it, become quite anxious when there is a big *unknown* coming into play.

Putting my anxiety over the unknown aside, I have pretty much got everything under control. I have new nighties, undies & dressing-gown; new slippers and bedsocks; a couple of comfy new loose dresses; a couple of pairs of easy slip-on shoes; and two lists - (1) what I need to take to hospital, and (2) what I need to take to mum & dad's. OK, so it sounds a little anal / OCD / call it what you will, but concentrating on organising things and getting everything ready to go keeps my anxiety in check.

I have my personal trainer looking into when I can get back to the gym and what I can do and when, as well as putting together an eating plan for me post-op & post-hyster - pretty convenient having a personal trainer who is also a nutritionist! Unfortunately, she has banned me from training between now and the surgery because having stopped my meds for endometriosis, my hormones have started running wild & I have been cramping unpredictably and excrutiatingly - making it fairly impossible to complete a decent training session. So, I have been banned & instructed to look after myself and rest-up before my surgery. Makes sense I guess...

One major bonus of all of this - I got to buy a 2nd Boxee today to take to mum & dad's with me and to have for my own private use until I'm better, at which time it will be given to the girls to use in their lounge room. Very cool!!!

to be continued...

Hyster Countdown

I was planning on keeping a diary of my hysterectomy and how I feel, physically and emotionally, and how well I recover starting from the day I go in for surgery - September 12. But I'm finding that just over a week before "H-Day" it seems to be almost all-consuming.

I'm planning, organising & thinking about little else than the surgery itself, recovery, and organising my family for the 6 or so weeks I'm told I will be pretty much useless... So from September 12 thru October 24 I don't expect to be doing much other than recovering, or so I am told.

Anyway, seeing I am pretty much consumed by what is only 11 days away, I am going to start my diary now - right here on my blog.

Start the Hyster Countdown!

Stimulating the Nerves and the Brains

My TENS machine is an absolute saviour at the moment, and has been reallocated to cramp-relief from ankle-pain-relief. With my hysterectomy only 2 weeks off, so I am no longer taking any of my endo/PCO meds, there are bearable days and really really painful days. Today was the latter. I threw Ponstan and some pain meds at it and didn't make a dint. So I tried the TENS.

Relief! This little machine is absolutely fantastic!! And to think that my Great Uncle was on the team that developed it!! Thanks Eric!!! 

Whilst I was stimulating nerves to erradicate cramps, hubby & the girls were stimulating their minds. The girls decided they wanted to learn how to play chess, and so this afternoon hubby sat down and they had their first chess lesson.

It was beautiful to watch, and hilarious at times as when hubby would ask Leah what she wanted to do (i.e. what move she wanted to make) and she would often respond "I want to kill something! What can I kill?" LOL!

Paperwork Arrived!

It's here! It's real! It's really going to happen!!! I am actually going to have a "...Total Laparoscopic Hysterectomy, removal of tubes and right ovary, treatment of endometriosis, Cystoscopy..." on 12 September 2011 at Epworth Hospital! I have asked so many times over the last 20 or so years for the doctors to just "cut it all out" and now my gynaecologist is going to do exactly that - cut it all out (except my left ovary). My nemesis - my right ovary - is going!!! The major source of my pain and sufferring, as far as we can determine, is being killed!!!

Hyster Countdown: 38 days!