Hyster Countdown - 5 more sleeps...

That pretty much says it all - I'm tired. Exhausted even. I think it has come to the point where the pain is peaking (my ovaries hurt when I walk!), I'm organised for surgery & recovery, and so now it is time to play the waiting game. I just want to go into hospital and stop. Let the Drs and nurses take care of me & the pain. Let me get a good night's sleep (oh, I really need one of those!) I know recovery is not going to be fun, but I will be able to "let go" of the current survival I'm holding onto. If that makes sense...

But waiting is not fun at all. It is quite bad actually because it gives you heaps of time to think. And thinking, at this point pre-op and being a sufferer from depression & anxiety, is not a good thing. Too many possibilities come to mind (I have a very imaginative mind!) and to be brutally honest, I'm starting to get a little sad.

I'm not sure how much is due to the "hysterectomy blues" that women can get, regardless of their reason for their hyster, and how much is just not being distracted enough to keep my mind off things, and how much it is that I've lost my sense of humour. Hubby & the girls are excited about all the things they are going to do while "mummy is sick" and instead of feeling glad that the kids are in a good frame of mind and all is organised, I feel kind of unloved and that is a bit upsetting... Not that I am unloved at all - I have a fabulous, supportive family, but at times like this the mind is a powerful thing...

5 more sleeps and counting...

to be continued...